Why Hanna?

Being a lesbian does not make "oops...getting pregnant" a viable avenue for becoming a mother, a role I have wanted to embody for many years now.

Having the ability to get pregnant or not, and working in the Special Education field for nineteen years, can make a person run for the hills when contemplating having a child-- knowing that the daily reprieve of going home from the job-- away from the children...is sacred, silent.

But for me, silence has become more and more deafening over the last few years. 

About a year ago, thoughts began to break into the silence. Maybe, just maybe, there was a child out there who wanted a home, my home. Maybe there was a child out there in the world who would benefit from all of my adventures in the Special Education field, who wanted to have a quirky, tattooed mom, who enjoys the company of children. I commenced my search.

After hours of Googling for "children" (which brought up an array of oddities) or searching for "adoption" and then weeding through the vast amounts of pet shelters, I was ready to give up for the night. I wondered how hard it could be to locate the child that would someday, hopefully, call me mommy. I said a prayer.

With the next click of my mouse, I came across an ad for an adoption site.  Finally, a site that did not involve animals, or astronomical amounts of money for a private adoption; it was a site for me, a would-be single parent, a working mom-- not an anomaly these days.

These children and young adults were in the Foster Care system; they needed people they could trust and rely on, some on a short-term basis and some searching for forever homes. Like a mad scientist, I scrolled through the thousands of photos and descriptions. Enter Hanna.

There she was, the little girl who stole my heart. In her black and white photo brilliance, she peered out from behind a toy, pensive, searching...for someone. Her personal details, though limited, described her as Autistic and cuddly. The main point that was highlighted in the passage was, "she LOVES Mayonnaise"-- yep...good, old-fashioned MAYO!!!

She could have been born of my womb!!!

By the time I found her, my eyes were crossing from being online for so long. I decided to call it a night and logged off for the evening. I went to sleep imagining what my life would be like...raising Hanna.